Sunday, November 18, 2012

BEST OF HUMBLE: THOSE NO LONGER WITH US

0:07 TELARIN (THANKS FOR GIVING THESE KIDS HOPE)
0:55 KOBK
0:57 TRITONE
1:01 MICHAH
1:04 PAINSPONGE
1:09 MUKIKO
1:19 MINDTRICKS
1:23 SPACETOTEM
1:38 AIRWAVEZ

HE HAS CHINESE DOGS

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

ERNEST SAVES CHRISTMAS


More like Bad Maddox

 

             Ask and you shall receive, Brad Maddox.

With a million-dollar contract on the line, the rogue ref–turned prospective Superstar took to the ring for a one-on-one match with Ryback himself, the Superstar Maddox robbed of the WWE Title at Hell in a Cell. And while Maddox certainly seemed game for the contest (He even had a personal cameraman who fashioned his own Brad Maddox shirt out of a Ryback one), it was a poor omen at best when, instead of a theme song, the whine of an apparently precautionary ambulance siren accompanied him to the ring. 

Maddox did get one final moment of joy before the slaughter began: A pre-taped address played over the TitanTron in which he proclaimed it "the greatest night of his life." 

"I'm a WWE Superstar," Maddox beamed. "No one is ever going to forget the name Brad Maddox."

It would appear at the very least that one Superstar remembered Maddox's name already because what Ryback perpetrated was less a match than a massacre. The beast made Maddox famous all right and was merciless in his dismantling of Maddox (who to his immense credit, would not stay down until the very end). With no absence of malice, Ryback pummeled the former ref's head into the canvas and decimated him with a Meathook Clothesline before executing Shell Shocked for the win and tossing Maddox inside (and against) the ambulance as a final exclamation point.

All of which, we suppose, was an elaborate lesson to the would-be wunderkind. To use another cliché, that lesson is: be careful what you wish for


Saturday, November 10, 2012

PLAYER SPOTLIGHT WEEK 2: PAJAMAPANTS


MS. NO DAYS OFF STEVE "ASS GIRL" PAJAMAPANTS HAS CARRIED HER OCTOBER MAGIC INTO NOVEMBER, ONCE AGAIN DEFEATING ZACH "LIP TICKLER" DITCHGIRL BY 6 POINTS. LIP TICKLER MADE A STRONG PLAY FOR THE COVETED CROWN WITH HIS KEEN UNDERSTANDING OF HOW STRAIGHT LINES WORK, BUT IN THE END ASS GIRL'S CONSISTENCY LED TO HER RETAINING THE TITLE. THE WORD "DYNASTY" IS THROWN AROUND A LOT IN PROFESSIONAL SPORTS THESE DAYS, AND WE ARE ONLY TWO WEEKS IN, BUT I DARE SAY THAT THIS APPEARS TO BE A DYNASTY IN THE MAKING. A THREE-PEAT COULD SEAL THE DEAL AND CEMENT ASS GIRL IN THE ANNALS OF WORLD OF WARCRAFT HISTORY.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Countdown To The End

The SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program)/Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is distributing the greatest amount of free meals and food stamps ever (46 million).
Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the U.S. Department of the Interior, asks us to "Please Not Feed The Animals." They say that this is because the animals may grow dependent on handouts and not learn how to take care of themselves.

Monday, November 5, 2012

KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMN HONEY


PLAYER SPOTLIGHT WEEK 1: PAJAMAPANTS


THIS WEEK WE WILL BE HIGHLIGHTING THE EXCEPTIONAL PLAY OF STEVE "ASS GIRL" PAJAMAPANTS. IT WAS A BANNER WEEK FOR ASS GIRL, MAINTAINING A SOLID LEAD FROM START TO FINISH AND CRUSHING THE RUNNER UP ZACH "LIP TICKLER" DITCHGIRL BY A SIZEABLE MARGIN. SUCH A LARGE LEAD WAS MADE ATTAINABLE BY STELLAR PLAY AND INGENIOUS TACTICS ON BOSSES SUCH AS BLADE LORD TA'YAK, WHERE NO ONE ELSE WAS CAPABLE OF SUCH BRILLIANT DEDUCTION AS TO NOTICE THAT THERE WERE NO TORNADOES FLYING AT THE RAID IN THE WALLS OF SOLID WIND, THEREFORE YOU MUST BE SUPPOSED TO RUN INTO THE WALL. CAN SUCH A PERFORMANCE BE DUPLICATED? UNLIKELY, BUT CHECK BACK NEXT WEEK TO SEE WHO TAKES THE CROWN.

Friday, November 2, 2012

AMERICAN GROWN

THIS IS WHY OLD PEOPLE SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED NEAR COMPUTERS

Who is Brad Maddox?



 Who is Brad Maddox?

“Brad Maddox, why?”

Following the rogue ref’s shocking low blow to Ryback during Hell in a Cell on Sunday night, WWE Universe members packed inside Atlanta’s Philips Arena were left stunned when CM Punk, with an assist from Maddox, rolled up his rival for the pin. This interference stands as the most blatant rule-breaking act by a WWE official ever.

On Thursday, the suspended Maddox, a 28-year-old former wrestler with Florida Championship Wrestling, stood before WWE’s Board of Inquiry in Stamford, Conn., to answer for his actions. Meanwhile, dumbstruck fans are left to wonder: Who is he? What was his motive? Did he act alone? And why was the rookie ref placed in such a high-profile match at all? 

Details from Maddox’s closed-door meeting are now sealed, and Maddox’s attorney Jeffrey Goldblatt is refraining from making a public statement pending the conclusion of the inquiry

While neither Goldblatt nor Maddox are talking, Maddox’s one-time trainer, Bill DeMott, is. The former Superstar, currently a trainer at WWE’s developmental organization, NXT (formerly FCW), has worked with Maddox since 2010, and describes him as “hardworking, but aloof.”

Was it Maddox’s withdrawn personality that kept him from fulfilling his lifelong dream of becoming a WWE Superstar? Or was it something else?